Let’s talk about that wall friend. You know the one I’m talking about. The one you built brick by brick, heartbreak by heartbreak, disappointment after disappointment. It’s tall, it’s sturdy, and it’s designed to protect you from anyone who dares to come too close. But here’s the thing, spoiler alert: the same wall that keeps others out also keeps you trapped inside.

We like to tell ourselves we’re just being careful, smart even. “I’m not about to let someone hurt me again,” we say. But babe, let’s be real—are you protecting your peace, or are you self-sabotaging in the name of safety?

Building the Wall

The truth is, every one of us has been through something. Maybe it was a failed relationship that left you questioning your worth. Maybe it was someone who promised forever and delivered nothing but tears. Maybe you’ve simply just watched people around you get hurt, and you swore you’d never let that happen to you. So, you built the wall.

At first, it felt empowering. “I’m in control now,” you thought. But as time went on, it started to feel…lonely. Because while that wall keeps out pain, it also keeps out love. The good kind. The kind you deserve but won’t let yourself receive.

The Danger of Self-Destruction

Here’s where it gets tricky. When someone does try to climb that wall—someone genuine, patient, and ready to love you the way you’ve always wanted—you fuck it up. Maybe you ghost them before they can get too close. Maybe you test them over and over to see if they’ll give up. Or maybe you convince yourself they’re too good to be true because deep down, you don’t feel worthy of the love they’re offering you.

But that’s the thing about self-destruction—it feels like control, but it’s really just fear in disguise. You’re terrified.

Owning the Wall You Built

Here’s the hard truth: no one can tear down that wall but you. Not the “right one,” not your friends gassing you up, not even the therapist you know you need to call (but keep putting off). The wall is yours. And that’s not a bad thing—it means you also have the power to break it down.

Start small. Maybe it’s allowing yourself to trust someone just a little. Maybe it’s being honest about what you want instead of playing it cool. Maybe it’s reminding yourself that being vulnerable isn’t weak; it’s brave.

The Right One Won’t Tear You Down

We like to think the “right one” will come along and scale our walls like some rom-com hero. But real love doesn’t break you down—it waits for you to let it in. It meets you halfway. But first, you have to be willing to do the work.

Let me leave you with this: Your wall was built out of survival, and there’s no shame in that. But you can’t thrive behind it. Letting it down doesn’t mean you’ll never get hurt again, but it does mean you’ll give yourself a shot at real connection. Now isn’t that worth the risk?

Friend, you deserve the kind of love that doesn’t make you feel like you need to protect yourself 24/7. You just have to believe you’re worthy of it. So, take a deep breath, close your eyes, grab a mental sledgehammer, and start breaking down those bricks. One at a time.

Trust me, you’re stronger than you think. And when the right one comes along, you’ll be ready and not because they tore down your walls, but because you decided to.

Xoxo, Drea