Let’s talk about something real: the mindset that your worth is tied to how much you do. You know the one where checking things off a mental and physical to-do list feels like validation and sitting still feels like failure.

I’ve been there, stuck in that loop of constant productivity. Somewhere along the way, I equated “busy” with “successful,” and slowing down felt like falling behind. But here’s the thing: it’s a trap friend. And it’s one I’m learning to climb out of, step by intentional step.

The Productivity Hamster Wheel

For so long, I felt that if I wasn’t doing something whether it was working, cleaning, or even turning hobbies into side hustles, I wasn’t contributing. I’d scroll through social media and see posts like, “You have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé.” And let me tell you, that would send me spiraling.

It wasn’t just about doing more; it was about proving my worth. Proving to myself, my folks, and even strangers who fan girl me that I was hustling, because I was. But the more I hustled, the less fulfilled I felt. It’s ironic, right? The harder I worked to “arrive,” the further away I felt from peace.

When the Wake-Up Call Comes

For me, the turning point was burnout. It was the moment I had lost the most profound women of my life, my grandmother. A few days later was when found out I was pregnant. Suddenly, my constant hustle didn’t feel like a badge of honor; it felt like a heavy weight I didn’t want to pass down.

I remember sitting in my car after leaving the doctor’s office, clutching that sonogram, and feeling a mix of excitement and fear. I thought to myself, What kind of life am I building for my child? What am I teaching them about their worth if I can’t even pause long enough to breathe?

It hit me hard: I didn’t want my child growing up thinking success meant burnout, exhaustion, or sacrificing joy. I wanted them to see that life isn’t about constantly doing, it’s about living and loving on the ones that matter most. That was the moment I knew I had to make a change, not just for me, but for this little life I was bringing into the world.

Redefining Success

Here’s where the shift happened: I started asking myself, What actually makes me feel successful? And to my surprise, it wasn’t awards, accolades, or even income… yes, I took a major pay cut. But, it’s for the moments of connection, creativity, and joy. I now have time to just be.

Redefining success has been a process. I’ve learned that success is:

• Spending intentional time with my loved ones.

• Doing work that fulfills me, not just pays the bills. They literally will get paid when they do friend.

• Taking care of my mental health.

• Allowing myself rest without guilt.

• Keeping up with my physical appearance because it makes me feel good.

Success isn’t about the grind; it’s about the alignment between what I do and what matters to me. (Repeat that as many times as you need. Let it sink it.)

Embracing Rest and Imperfection

One of the hardest lessons was giving myself permission to rest. We live in a world that glorifies hustle culture, and rest can feel indulgent. But here’s the truth: rest isn’t lazy. Rest is necessary.

I’ve started setting boundaries:

• Unplugging from work emails after hours.

• Scheduling self-care days where I focus on nothing productive.

• Let that baby go with her family.

• Saying no to things that don’t align with my values.

It’s also been about embracing imperfection. My laundry hasn’t been done in I don’t know how long (thank God for my endless wardrobe), The inside of my car just looks like I have kids, and I have about 5 blogs post sitting in my drafts because I’m scared to post and be vulnerable. But you know what? That’s all okay.

A New Perspective

Overcoming the mindset that productivity equals success hasn’t been easy. It’s a daily practice of unlearning and re-learning. But the more I let go of the need to constantly “do,” the more space I’ve created for the things that truly matter… which essentially is doing but for a more meaningful purpose.

Life is too short to spend it chasing checkboxes. Success isn’t about how much you accomplish; it’s about how fully you live. So here’s my invitation to you: take a breath, pause, and ask yourself, What does success look like for me?

And if the answer doesn’t involve a to-do list, that’s perfectly okay.

Let’s live lives we’re proud of, NOT because of what we’ve done, but because of who we’ve become.

Xoxo, Drea