Let’s talk about something deep for a minute. How do you think you’re going to break generational curses if you continue to seek validation from the very people who perpetuated them?

This question has been rolling around in my mind lately. Many of us say we want to heal, grow, and create better futures for ourselves and our families. But then we find ourselves stuck and basically paralyzed by the need for approval from the people who caused the wounds we’re trying to heal. Why is that?

Maybe it’s your parents, extended folks, hell maybe even your grandparents. They’re the ones who instilled certain beliefs or behaviors that don’t serve you. Maybe they normalized silence in the face of hurt. Maybe they told you that putting yourself first was selfish. Maybe they made you feel like your worth was tied to your achievements, your appearance, or your ability to keep the peace. Yet here you are, impulsively craving their recognition as if their approval could erase the psychological damage you’ve developed.

Spoiler alert: It can’t friend.

Validation vs. Healing

Seeking validation from people who contributed to your pain is like trying to heal a wound by revisiting the thing that caused it. It doesn’t work. True healing comes from within. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and often lonely work. But it’s also the most liberating work you’ll ever do.

When you’re on a path to breaking generational curses, you have to be prepared for the possibility that the people who hurt you won’t acknowledge their role. They may not see the harm they’ve caused. They might never apologize. And here’s the kicker: They really don’t have to.

Your healing isn’t contingent on their acknowledgment. It’s contingent on your decision to stop giving them power over your narrative. Validation is nice, but it’s not necessary. Write your own story.

Recognizing the Cycle

Seeking approval from the culprits often keeps the cycle alive. When they approve of you, you feel a fleeting sense of worth. When they don’t, you’re crushed. This creates a dependency that keeps you tied to the very dynamics you’re trying to escape.

Here’s the truth: Breaking generational curses requires you to step outside of that cycle. It requires you to trust yourself enough to say, “Even if they don’t see it, I know my worth. Even if they don’t approve, I’m doing what’s best for me.”

Finding New Sources of Validation

Part of the healing journey is learning to find validation from healthier sources. This will mean building a new support system of friends, mentors, and maybe sprinkle in a therapists who affirms your growth. It might even mean leaning into your faith, spirituality and trusting in the power of God to guide and strengthen you. When you lean on His wisdom and grace, you’ll find a deeper sense of purpose and the courage to walk in the fullness of who He created you to be friend. Your personal values may start to change, this just means you’ve learned to validate yourself.

Ask yourself:

• What do I think of this decision?
• Does it align with the person I’m striving to become?
• Does it contribute to the future I want to create for myself and my family?

If the answer is yes, then that’s all the validation you need.

The Power of Breaking Free

Breaking generational curses isn’t just about stopping toxic patterns; it’s about building something better in their place. It’s about creating a legacy of love, self-worth, and authenticity. That work starts with YOU, not them.

So, ask yourself: Are you ready to stop seeking validation from them folk? Are you ready to take back your power and trust yourself to break the cycle?

The road isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. And the freedom you’ll feel on the other side? Unmatched.

Xoxo, Drea