Male readers, you can exit left today. This one isn’t for you. Xoxo

It’s a rollercoaster being a woman, isn’t it? We’re told as teens, “Don’t be a statistic! Don’t get pregnant young!” Society waves warning flags about teen pregnancy like it’s the apocalypse. Fast forward a few years, and those same voices pivot: “When are you going to have kids? You don’t want to wait too long…” It’s like being trapped in a game where you can never hit the target at the right time.

Then, let’s sprinkle in the cherry on top: you’re deemed “high-risk” if you don’t pop out a baby by 35. It’s wild, right? But playing devils advocate, from a biological perspective it makes total sense. Our bodies weren’t designed with modern timelines in mind. If we look back at history, humans hit puberty young because the body was geared for survival. Back in the day, life expectancy wasn’t what it is now, and childbearing happened earlier by necessity. But society’s shifted so much, and now research, medicine, and culture have flipped the narrative on when we “should” be having kids.

Navigating Modern Expectations

What’s tricky is how fast the messaging changes. One minute, you’re being praised for chasing your dreams, traveling, or focusing on your career—and the next, people are side-eying you, hinting that your “biological clock” might as well be ticking on an urgent timeline.

And it’s not just the timelines; it’s the pressure to do it all. Society says:

• Be ambitious, but don’t work too much.
• Find love, but don’t settle down too soon.
• Have kids… but only when it’s “the right time.”

When exactly is this mythical “right time?” For some women, the shit never comes, and that’s okay too. The point is: we’re constantly balancing societal expectations, personal goals, and biological realities. It’s a lot to carry.

Embracing Modern Realities

Here’s the thing, though, we’ve come so far as women. Personally, I for sure want another kid in a few years, but on my own timeline and terms. We have access to tools and resources our grandmothers couldn’t even imagine. From fertility treatments to egg freezing, we can make choices that work for us, not just our biology.

The downside? Research has given us new perspectives, but it hasn’t completely erased the stigma. Some people still cling to the idea that there’s only one way to do motherhood, and if you’re not following that path, you’re either selfish, reckless, or just plain confused.

Redefining Motherhood (Or Choosing Not To!)

At the end of the day, it’s about finding peace with your choices. Whether you have kids at 20, 35, 42, or not at all, the reality is that motherhood doesn’t define a woman’s worth. And while our bodies may have been designed for one timeline, our modern lives have carved out room for flexibility. There’s power in acknowledging the past while embracing what’s possible today. And there’s power in having the choice to decide what’s best for your own life.

So, the next time someone asks, “When are you having kids?” feel free to smile and remind them that you’re living life on your terms, not theirs babe.

Xoxo, Drea