They say people who care make an effort, not an excuse. But here’s the twist friend it’s not just about holding others accountable for how they show up in your life. It’s about recognizing when you need to show up for yourself. Because let’s be honest, distinguishing between effort and excuses can be the wake-up call you need to stop prioritizing people who don’t prioritize you.

When someone values you, they’ll find a way to show it. But when the effort isn’t there or the “reasons” for why they can’t show up start sounding more like a pattern than an exception, that’s your cue. That’s the moment you pause, reflect, and ask yourself: Am I giving too much of me to someone who wouldn’t do the same?

This isn’t about keeping score or expecting perfection. Life happens, and no one is going to be able to give 100% all the time. But what you can pay attention to is consistency. Are they making an effort more often than not? Do their actions align with their words? Or are you left constantly giving them grace while sacrificing your peace in the process?

Here’s where the distinction becomes life-changing: Once you start recognizing who’s putting in the effort and who’s just putting up excuses, you can start redirecting all that energy you’ve been giving out to the wrong people. You can choose you.

Because here’s the truth: Effort is a two-way street. But when the other side is blocked, you don’t have to keep driving into a dead end. It’s okay to turn around and head in a direction where your energy is met, matched, and appreciated friend or better yet, poured back into yourself.

The beauty of recognizing effort vs. excuses is that it gives you clarity. Clarity about who’s worth your time, energy, and love, and when it’s time to prioritize yourself. Choosing you doesn’t mean you stop caring about others; it means you stop overextending for people who don’t make the same effort for you.

So, here’s my point: People who care make an effort, and knowing the difference between effort and excuses helps you decide where to pour your energy. It’s not about being cold or cutting people off. It’s about creating space in your life for the people and opportunities that pour back into you.

Xoxo, Drea