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So, I was scrolling like I always do, minding my business (but really in everybody else’s), when I came across a comment that stopped me mid-scroll. It said:

“There’s nothing more I’d rather see than a man taking care of his kids.”

And all I could think was…

That’s what gets you wet, sis?

Like, I get it. Seeing a man be a good father is heartwarming, refreshing even, considering how many kids out here have to wish their daddies showed up. But… nothing more? Not ambition, not protection, not a man that loves and chooses you daily? Just the bare minimum of a man raising the very life he helped create? Chile…

And then, as if the universe wanted to hit me with a double dose of perspective, I saw that clip of Caresha (Yung Miami for the non-internet folk). She said:

“I’ll always remember those car rides with my dad, but I don’t remember the chains he bought.”

Whew. Let’s break that down.

It’s crazy how we remember presence over presents. Kids don’t hold onto material things the way they hold onto moments. The rides to nowhere, the off-key singing in the car, the talks that felt small but shaped how we see the world—that’s what sticks. Not the Jordans, not the PlayStations, not the shiny things meant to distract from absence.

So why, as women, do some of us swoon over a man just showing up for his kids? Shouldn’t that be the standard, not the prize? And before y’all jump me, I get that we’ve seen too many fathers do the opposite—dip, neglect, or treat fatherhood like a part-time hobby. But we gotta raise the bar, for ourselves and for our kids.

Because one day, our daughters might be in a relationship, looking at the bare minimum like it’s gold-plated love. And our sons? They’ll think they deserve a trophy for just doing what they should be doing.

So, yes, clap for the good fathers. Praise the men who break cycles and pour into their kids emotionally, spiritually, consistently. But let’s not treat a dad being a dad like he just walked on water.

Because presence should be the standard, not the exception.

Xoxo, Drea