February I started my self love journey. This has been one of the hardest challenges I have ever experienced and I couldn’t have started it at such perfect timing. I honestly feel so unloved. I know that I’m loved but I feel so empty inside. I feel so hurt. I feel like I’m living a lie. I feel like as I continue to pray and ask God for strength to get thru these rough times, I smile and say I’m ok but in the inside I’m crying and I’m hurting so bad. I try to feed my mind, body, and soul with so much positivity that it will overpower my heartache and it does work but some times I feel like I’ve overcome nothing.
I’m beyond proud of myself. I’m strong, I’m a provider, and I’m a believer. I’m 80% ok but that other 20% of heart break is eating me alive. I was talking to my best friend last night and I was telling her that I’m working on my expectations for others. I expect way too much from people because I assume that since I have a genuine character that they will too. I’m not talking about an everyday pedestrian I’m talking about my close friends and family. That’s why it hurts so much, because these people are the ones I expect to be here for me when need it.
This is were my self love journey becomes challenging. I just have to remember to stay strong, inhale positivity, exhale the hurt, and live on.